Why weep at your friend's wedding?

Bismillah, Asalamu alaikum. 

A few weeks ago, perhaps even a month now, a good friend of mine got married alhamdulilah. So leading up to the wedding, I was extremely excited for her and wished that the Nikkah would be over and done with ASAP! The nikkah day came, quicker than I had anticipated, then it was time for the women to come together for the walimah in the evening. Now, I will admit that I am not a keen wedding go-er. To be blunt, I dislike going to weddings. Not the actual occasion but the stress that a young woman has to go through before turning up at a wedding. I am not so sure about other cultures but in my culture the women are very glamorous looking at weddings, and of course to achieve this you have to plan step by step how you are going to acheive looking like an amazingly beautiful woman who looks nothing like you that night. Inevitably most women are eyeing each other up. This is what I dislike. The eyeing up part. It's all well and fun imagining what you are going to wear and how you will do your hair but with me when the day comes, I don't even want to get out of bed. So, my friend's wedding came. Too early for me. The night before I went on a rant about how stressful we make weddings, and the next day, I was grumpy. But of course I ended up at the wedding. Obviously. 

All the women and children stood up for the bride was about to enter the hall. The crowd were excited to see the bride and were pushing each other just to get a view (it was pretty packed, my friend is almost famous). I pushed through the crowds to get to the front and when I set my eyes on the bride, uncontrollably, tears began to run down my cheeks. It was so weird. My friend, my silly school friend, getting married. It was strange. Seeing her younger sister walking next to her made me even more emotional. 

In need of tissue I went to find another friend who looked at me with disgust. "Why are you crying?" she asked. "You were the same person who was ranting last night about how much you hate weddings and now you are crying." She was right. 

I sat down and asked myself why I was crying. Why did I cry at her getting married? Was it out of happiness or out of random emotion. 

Maybe it was a bit of both but what was stuck in my mind that night as we left for home was the question. It played on my mind. I re-pictured the bride enter the hall, my tears, and my friend looking at me like 'why?'. 

I knew before I went to sleep the main reason I weeped. That my friend getting married symbolized time flying by and waiting for nobody. That none of us would forever remain young, that one day (by the will of Allah) we would marry, bear children and eventually hit the grave. This isn't the life for everybody, Allah takes the souls of some before they even marry or have children. Only Allah knows the future. But one thing that we need to bear in mind is that time waits for no man, that we cannot always be children or rely on our parents. That one day, time will fly past you so quickly, you will be in your grave before you know it. I am not encouraging one to fear and dread death, but what I worry about is, have I done enough as a Muslimah in the dunya to please Allah? 


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