Like father like daughter: Advice for brothers when marrying

Bismillahi rahmani raheem

For a lot of women, their fathers are the most important men in their lives. In fact, before you decide to turn up, her father is (most probably) the only man in her life. No pressure there.

Do not be naïve and assume that I am naïve about the sleepiness nights that brothers get before meeting the father of their potential wife. I feel for you. Believe me though; I am not here to scare you out of marrying. I just sense that men nowadays do not value the relationship between a woman and her father, and if it happens to be that this relationship is very strong, you’ll have to listen up.

What to do:

• Be genuine.

Don’t fake it. Don’t be “over friendly” or laugh too much at his jokes. Her daddy might like it but 99.9% of the time, she’ll see right through your rubbish acting. You’re going to look desperate. Even worse, you’ll appear as if you’re treating the “getting to know the father” stage, as an exam that you need to pass quickly. Marriage is for life and you’re marrying into her family too. I am not suggestion you need to learn his biography and tell me what time he was born but just get to know him, a little. If he tells an ancient joke, simply smile, don’t roar with laugher.  

• Get to know him

Like I said before, the sister won’t set you a timed exam on his life, however listen to what he says and remember, (at least) his middle name.

• Listen to him

Worst case scenario: You’re chatting, chatting, chatting away for England while dad sits there listening to all you have to say. It will make your potential wife sick. Literally. She’ll wonder why you are so self indulged. Nothing more pleasant that a good listener, especially when listening to her daddy. (Note: do not become mute either)

• Never call him “old man”

“Yeah, your “old man” is funny” you tell her casually. She’ll stab you in the back. Don’t call her father “old man”. Never ever.

• Don’t try to be her father

You’ll get rejected if you do this. She wants a husband not a 2^nd father. And she will proclaim that you cannot and will not ever be her father anyway. So that’s two-nil. It may not be incest to marry somebody who tries to be your parent but for obvious reasons, stay away from it.

Hmm, this is all I have on my mind right now. My father means so much to me and no man will ever replace him (sorry!) Sisters dislike brothers (as religious as they may be) who think that they have the whole package (nothing wrong with confidence) but forget that pleasing her father means pleasing her.

I cannot speak for every sister out there, not everybody have a close nit relationship with their father but this is advice for brothers who may encounter women whose fathers have raised them and are about to let them go.

Umm Mus’ab & UmmZaid who totally agrees <3