Bismillaah.
What is wrong with me? I have not begun most of my posts in the name of Allah or even with Bismillah. Ya Umm Mus'ab, what iz wrong wizz youue ukhti, bleaas tell me?
This is for the sisters who have ever wished for a brother with a beautiful beard and a very white qamis. The brother who lowers his gaze in the street and looks only upon his wife with a smile. The brother is seen rushing to the masjid for salah. The brother who proudly wears his clothes in accordance with the Sunnah and aspires to resemble our beloved Nabee sallalahu alaihi wa sallam.
"Hold up. Ukhti, where's your hijab?"
"Stop being silly man"
"I'm not"
"On my head, you plonker"
"You're not ready for abaya or jilbab yet, I'm guessing"
"Nope, not ready yet. Sister please make dua for me though. I saw such a masha Allah brother today, in qamis and with a beard. He was lowering his gaze as well. I want a husband like that!"
"In sha Allah I will. I will also make dua that you begin to cover up"
"Whaaaat?"
Maybe you think that this post is heading towards: clothing automatically make you pious, like shahada automatically make a murjiee a mu'min (supposedly)
That is not what I am trying to say. Although, we can all agree that covering correctly is wajib upon every believing man and woman. What buggles my mind so much is, why do sisters with camel hump, skin tight abaya, or jegging wearing hijabis think that one day a brother resembling a scholar will knock on their door for marriage? Allah knows best. Sister, you can flower yourself up as much as you like. Draw on your eyebrows, your lips, colour yourself in with make up. In fact! Reinvent yourself. Make up is powerful.
(For my less advanced readers, I am fluent in sarcasm.) But I guarantee you that Shaikh Sudais will not come knocking for you. Neither will his son.
This goes for brothers too. I know of sisters who observe the correct hijab who have been approached by brothers who desired to "get to know them" for marriage (i.e talk on the phone and what not). As you are guessing, these brothers were not observing their own "Hijab" - shaven, long trousers etc. Al hamdulilah brothers desire women who are covered for the sake of Allah but should you not take a glance at yourself before even eyeing up covered sisters.
The real question is, would you marry you?
BEFORE I GET HATE MAIL: No, I am not impying that sisters who wear jilbab or brothers who do not shave are much more pious. I do not encourage sisters to observe the niqab because this may bring brothers to come and ask for your hand, no no no, Allah will not be pleased with that. Remember to be sincere and do whatever act of worship you do, to be for Allah alone. The reward is great in sha Allah.
O Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc.) and as an adornment, and the raiment of righteousness, that is better. Such are among the Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allah, that they may remember (i.e. leave falsehood and follow truth). (7:26)
as salamu 'alaykum. I read quite a number of your blog entries and mashaAllah, they've lot of goodness in them, so jazakumullahu khayr. I pray and hope that you continue to make beneficial and practical entries, and that our brothers and sisters, mainly the unmarried ones, benefit from these entries and reflect upon whatever good you have in them.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I would like to draw your attention to the criteria on which sisters (and brothers too) should decide on their suitable partner, based on the various hadiths. One important aspect that I've noticed strongly amongst single sisters is their turning down a proposal or looking down on someone PURELY on the basis of race, ethnicity and nationality, and even to the extent of issues such as the accent! WAllahul musta'an.
I'd request you to highlight these issues, where sisters continue to turn down good proposals purely on such grounds. I understand and acknowledge that we all have our own preferences, so for instance a English Muslimah may prefer to marry another English Muslim, or a "brown" Muslimah wanting to marry another "brown" Muslim, and so on. And there is nothing wrong with such preferences inshaAllah. However, as your blog stresses on marriage in the Prophetic way, I feel that you should alert the sisters not to turn down purely on such grounds (that the brother was born with), and be tolerant of the Muslim whose deen and character she is pleased with. This would increase the awareness of what should be the topmost priorities and decrease the level of arrogance that stems from racism and nationalism, as well as reduce the fitnah bi idhnillah.
Wa alikum asalam Brother Ahmad, we apologise for the late response to your comment. And masha' Allah we are pleased that you like our blog, jazak Allah khayran for your encouraging comment!
ReplyDeleteBarak Allaah feeka, the issue you have raised is a very important one subhan Allah and a fitna in our Ummah today! I (Umm Mus'ab) wanted to write about the difficulties faced by some Muslims when it comes to marrying outside of ones race, tribe, culutre etc.
May Allah reward you for your kind words and taking your time to remind us about this issue. We ask Allah to bless you with a pious spouse(s) Ameen