1. Don't approach her in the street to ask for marriage.
2. Don't hang out in front of the masjid to catch a glimpse of her.
3. Don't jump by the window, knock on the door
4. Don't use ahadeeth or ayaats on her once shes declined your proposal. It's her choice whether she marries you are not. She may not be attracted to you or like your character very much.
5. Don't turn up at the house without reliable info about her.
6.Don't tell her "Allah will provide" if you are unable to provide for her.
7. Don't speak to her like a gangster (expections if you are an actual ex gangster)
8. Don't be inconsiderate of what she wants. Give her a chance to decide on whether she likes you or not. Men seem to ignore the needs of the woman while only focusing on their own.
9. Don't tell her you wish to marry her for her beauty. In fact, don't even compliment her.
10. In fact, leave the house.
11. Don't act like a "hard nut" around her father. He is the lion of the house, you are the cub.
12.When meeting her father, don't give a khutbah, unless you are asked.
13. Don't finish all the biscuits, finish the tea.
14. Don't come to her house looking like you've survived a hurricane
15. Don't come unprepared for a wife, marriage and great responsibilty.
16. Don't use your heart to judge the overall situation
17. Don't rely too much on your looks, money or personality.
18. Don't jump to lead salah at her house so that her father hears your amazing recitation, unless you are asked.
19. Don't just talk about your goals and dreams for the future. Speak about your accomplishment at present.
20. Don't leave your beard at home.
loooool
ReplyDeletesister, I love you, but I TOTALLY disagree with point 1 and 9 (last part)
ReplyDeleteWhat's the problem with a brother seeing a nice covered sister and wishes to get to know her more. You don't see a person you like that often. I don't see it any different than the proposals of the brothers at ISNA or ICNA or whatever Muslim convention.
Sometimes I actually wished that brothers would be courageous enough and take that move. You'll both have the chance later to decide whether you like each other or not. (After meeting with the Wali)
About point 9: what do u mean don't compliment her? not talking about looks compliments but compliments in general? man I would not wanna see his face again if he didn't compliment even once. in fact sisters like the compliments, especially if it's done in a subtle way. Sisters like to feel that the brother appreciates her and realizes and announces her great sides. She likes to feel that she is not just another sister he met, if you know what I mean.
as Salaamu alaikunna wa Rahmatullaah,I agree with ukhti Rabbaniyah about number one. However, if the sister & brother are the only ones there, then I feel he better be sure he wants to marry her and just ask for her Walis number. Number 9,I think that would fall into the category of flirting, if he does compliment her. This isn't proper. A suitor or fiance is still a non-mahram, so no flirting allowed. Anyways, there's plenty of time after the marriage contract for this. I think we all know that some men have a way with words and we don't want any funny business when we're choosing our future life partner. May Allaah grant us righteous spouses. Ameen Take Care
ReplyDeleteAs Salaamu alaikunna