بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Alhamdulilaah- All Praises and Thanks are due to Allaah [swt]

Who is getting married? Is it our parents or is it us?
For some of us, it seems that when it comes to the issue of marriage, it's not only us that are getting on the zawaj plane but it's also our parents. Our parents decide when we should get married, to whom we should get married, how we should get married ect.. The list is rather long. And, if the 'child' happens to be a *shy* *reserved* and of a *weird* character then zawaj ain't gonna happen anytime soon.
 In most cultures, when it comes to zawaj, it is never one person marrying another, usually it's a whole family marrying another-  two whole separate world coming into one. So, our parents will without a shadow of a doubt play a *major* part in this whole trip to Zawajland. That's why I think it's important for us to maintain a very good relationship with our parents since the key is in their hands [especially for sisters]- you don't want your father to throw the key in the well.

There are four types of parents-

 1) The Strictly Religious Parents
If you happen to be from such a family then rejoice- you have hope in that they will be understanding once *you* make the choice that *you*'re ready to get on the plane. They will -hopefully- support you, advise you and make it easy for you to fulfill your deen. With this type of parents, communication is fairely easy as you can discuss based on daleels and have interesting discussions. Beware however, of discussing points of ikhtilaaf or enter the doors of ijtihaad lest you would create unneccessary problems onto yourself!

2) The Pushy Parents
This is the type of parents who is pushing you to marry even if you don't really want to. They arrange meetings with the worst possible people on this planet i.e- your cousins! They're not really bothered about education, they just want to see their future grand-children. The best way to deal with such parents is to be really honest and tell 'em the truth: 'You're not marrying none of your cousins!', then put your trust in Allaah and make loads of duas. My sincere compassion goes to all those who come under this category- only the strong ones will survive!

3) The Strictly Educated Parents
This is the types of parents who have spend their lives studying, love study and anything related to education. Usually you will find that the uncle, the aunty and other relatives are also highly educated, and even the grand-father is into education, everywhere you look- education seems to be *THE* thing. Once again, my heart goes out to all those who come under this category because that means you'll probably also have to reach a *high* educational level since a simple degree isn't all that impressive any longer. Parents want minimum a Masters and grand-father expects a PhD from you- so chin up, the only thing you can do for now is to daydream about Zawaj. In most cases, it's difficult to argue with such parents since they bought you in this 'education-loving' spirit, so I suggest you don't dissapoint them and do what you got to do. May Allaah make it easy for ya.

4) The way-too-easy-going-Family
This is the type of parents who are easy-going, almost 'don't care' about anything regarding zawaj. They're not Muslims or are not practising. It is extremely hard to communicate with them about anything and especially about Zawaj- because you both have two distinct ideas about it. If they let you marry the person of your choice, you'll still have to battle through having a halal waleemah ya3ni:- no music, no free-mixing, no recording, no extra useless things, no singer, no to the hotel reception, no no and no. You will need a Lot of patience, a Lot of hikmah and a Lot of forbearance. May Allaah make it easy for ya too.

I'm sure there are more types of parents- feel free to tell us and also tell us which category you're from and how do you deal with it, maybe others can beneficiate!

Inshallaah, next time I shall be exploring the different type of sisters too- that's gonna be interesting.

May Allaah bless us all and give satisfaction to our hearts. May Allaah protect our parents regardless of which category they're from! They're our parents, the reason we strive, we wouldn't be anything without them, remember to keep your parents in your duas folk- they're very very precious. One of the Salaf said that it is from 'Biir' meaning from Goodness to the parents that you should AT least make ONE dua for them in ONE of our salaahs during the day. Ya Allaah, forgive our parents and have mercy upon them as they had mercy upon us when we were young. Ya Allaah, they've taken good care of us and still are.. ya Allaah icnrease their ranks in Jannaah. Mom, Dad, I love you !

Salaam!
UmmZaid-