Oh sister, is he threatened by your Degree?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

السلام عليكم 

Sisters who know me already know of my adamant position regarding education in general and especially Muslim girls/women seeking education. 

  

  ''Seeking knowledge is a duty of every Muslim, man or woman”.

•  Islamic Knowledge

Many people have this erred belief that islamic knowledge is a property that is exclusive to men for men and khalas that is it. Added to this misconception, I feel that a lot of women/girls are lethargic (what an ugly word) when it comes to seeking islamic knowledge.

 Yes, I agree that there aren't a huge number of facilities allowing sisters to study in the West but if you look deeper, you will find in almost every city a center or a masjid or someone willing to teach you about Islam. This unfortunate attitude has translated in many sisters marrying brothers without having correct or complete knowledge of the rules of marriage, divorce, children and other topics dealing with zawaj.

I've mentioned this in previous articles, but I'll say it again: it is imperative that you know what you're getting into. 
Can someone pray if they don't know how to pray? No. Treat marriage as so because it is, after all, worship.
It has rules: you have rights & you have duties. He has rights & he has duties.

Sisters, learn your religion at the hands of trustworthy people: the well-know 'Ulama (scholars) of this Ummah. If you aren't married, make it your aim to memorise the Qur'an or have, at least, a plan for yourself before your marriage. 

Aim high and be proactive, no more complaining. 
If there aren't lessons taking place in your area, how about you begin by organising a small sisters' circle?
 Start small and built up from there.

A swift reminder on sincerity would perhaps be best here. It may be a very personal feeling but I feel that for many, seeking knowledge has become a label more than anything. A sticker you stick on yourself just because... yeah, well you attend the weekly duroos at the masjid. 
Be humble, be sincere.. easy words, profound meanings. 
I'll leave it here for you to think about it..

Now, don't let marriage or Mr.Sweet Eyes distract you from the path you've embarked! 
This is your path to Jannah by the permission of Allaah. I suggest you discuss this point in your meetings with your potential(s). Perhaps he can teach you at home? (lucky girl!) Perhaps he can find someone to teach you & the ladies in your area? Perhaps he doesn't want you to have more 'ilm than him? (yes, some are like that!)

PS: Remember, you can also add points like this in your marriage contract (Stay tuned for this article 'Tips on what to write in your marriage contract'  inshAllaah)

• Other type of Knowledge 

I get thrilled when I see Muslim sisters who have finished their academic route whislt remaining steadfast on their deen. Sadly, it is not a common sight for me. Throughout my own journey on this route, I picked up the traits of those sisters and drawn some conclusions. We could all agree on 3 main types of girls: 

- the first type, by the Mercy of Allaah, has completed or is in the process of completing her education. She is a religious girl who has her intentions checked and knows why she is studying, she has her own plan and aims. She avoids the evils of mixed schools to the best of her ability (and.. that IS possible), she prays her prayers and wears the correct Hijab. She has the adab prescribed in the Qur'an & Sunnah and is a 'walking dawah' in her campus. We should all aspire to be like this.

- the second type has as Allaah [swt] describes in surah Fatir: '..khalatu 'amalan saleehan wa akhara sayyi'a..' They have mixed a good action with evil one (approximative translation). You may see them in the students bar, coming in the prayer room with tight jeans, possibly mixing with guys but they still identify as Muslims, they still come and pray. They could do well with a helping hand from the first type of sisters.

- the third type has unfortunatly, fell deep into the wrong side. 
We all know their characteristics, may Allaah make them & us steadfast.

Way too many people believe that education is not for girls.. 

what's the point? She'll get married anyway

So what? I feel the urge to say when I hear this statement.
How does the fact that 'she'll get married anyway' take anything away from her seeking education? Don't we all want female doctors, teachers, scientists, dentists, nurses, instructors, buisnesswomen, lawyers, accountants..? 
Even if, she chooses not to work later on, having an education background will definetly help her in her personal skills. 
What if she has no other choice but to work? Is she going to survive on a degrading job?

I will not deny that we also have among us the other extreme, the utra-super-militant girls who believe that unless you graduate, go on post-grad, pursue a PhD then you're just a loser with a big L. No need to push it neither extremes, keep it to the middle path. 

Ah! I didn't talk about those brothers who ... feel threatned to marry a girl with more knowledge than them (be it religious or secular). That was my title right?
This happens. It probably has a name like 'Im-scared-to-marry-a-sister-with-a-degree- Syndrome'. We also have sisters with a disease called 'He-aint-got-a-degree- what-a-loser Syndrome'.. this is also wrong. 

Ideally,  when one is looking to marry, you'd want to marry someone with a similar educational background as yourself. I mean, imagine a bedouin girl marrying a guy with a PhD in neuroscience.. Happy days they will indeed have! 
  


*SIGH* I feel like I'm rumbling away on this post, I don't even think this is how I wanted this post to go! Awkward. 

My final words: sisters, do seek knowledge. Islamic & Secular. Study something beneficial that you enjoy, become proficient in your area, develop expertise. Intent to help yourself, your family, your community, the Ummah with that degree. Work hard but do not neglect your deen, do not compromise on your beliefs, do not fall to the whispers of the Shaytan. Remain far, far from the opposite gender and work even harder.



The Prophet 'aleyhi salaam mentioned in a hadith that I cherish 

Allaah loves when any one of you does an action, that he perfects it

Subhanaka Allahuma astaghfirullaah wa atubu ilayk