For my first blog post I wanted to write about the highly debated topic of "Polygamy"..
The actual word is Polygyny - which means for a man to have multiple wives which as we know is permissible for our brothers.
But the issue is many of the brothers who are embarking on the road of Polygyny are doing so without even knowing the rights and responsibilities of all involved, this is why the rate of divorce is so high amongst us as Muslims because we aren't taking the steps necessary to gain knowledge before seeking a spouse.
Many of the brothers are unemployed and lacking in knowledge. They claim to want to be in a polygamous marriage because it is closer to the Sunnah but that is a LIE... I'm not saying all brothers are the same but a large majority are and thats simply a fact!!!
I think many sisters opinions of polygyny would change if their husbands were going about it the right way.......for example the basic rights of a wife is for a husband to provide her with food, clothing and place to live but instead these brothers want the goverment to pay the rent and provide for their wives.
The line i'm hearing the most is " I will find a sister who is established to be my 2nd/3rd/4th wife " which basically means she has to be working or on benefits and have her own house so he doesn't have to provide anything!
It has been clearly stated in the Qu'ran :
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means..." [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
"...but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [women]..." [al-Baqarah 2:228]
I don't want to go on for too long but i felt this issue had to be addressed, I wrote this blog based on experiences that many of my sisters have had to deal with.
As women we have to remember we do not own our husbands and if he wants to take a co wife we cant stop him but if he is in no position to provide or be just to more than one wife we should advise them because he will have to answer to Allah for any injustice.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever has two wives and favours one of them over the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides leaning." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1141), Abu Dawood (2133), al-Nasaa'i (3942) and Ibn Majaah (1969). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa'l-Tarheeb (no. 1949)
Al-Teebi said in his commentary on the words "with one of his sides leaning", i.e., tilting. And it was said that this will be in such a way that all the people on the Day of Resurrection will see him, so this will increase his punishment.As for the brothers reading my blog i hope it is an eyeopener for you to see how sisters feel about this topic and the reasons behind us not wanting our husband taking on a co - wife.
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